Where beginnings say nothing important

Well, it's been long overdue, but I've started typing to myself. Not sure if I should be my honest self in here or some barely funny parody of me, doubt I can escape into my persona and really not be myself... biggest reason I can't write characters who are believable yet, they always reflect me, and I'm not remotely realistic. I'll get there though eventually, and I may even find where there is on the way.

I guess, as an opening post, I should say who I am. I'm John, I'm barely legal to exist in society and I'm just starting to do that confused student spaced out party thing. So far, it's highly unfulfilling but when you live 6 miles from everywhere and are stuck there most of the time with just youself and the created media of some of the most talented people who lived, you tend to live the tame life, escaping to different peoples perspectives and wishing deep down that you could make something that was even remotely... well, significant. There is university life in 6 months though, escape and social life and maybe I'll gain some sanity on the way. I'll still be dying to write though, I hope.

Further introduction... where to start and where to go... I'm not sure what I want you to know. Well, I write, it's mostly pretentous and esoteric and self centred drivel, but I'm starting to branch out from that to write stuff that I want to share... it's just esoteric and pretentous now.. I don't want to use emoticons... but I'm afraid I'll sound like a moody teen if I'm not using them to hear the sarcasm, guess only time and occational comments will iron out that issue.

So, the writing... I've wrote one piece to date that's complete and I enjoy. A small project I had for a pisstake of gameshows, dogma and the general media parade, while I sit there writing, worship my idols and destroy everything else. It's called "The Revelation Game,"... I've only got the pilot complete and it was to be an animated comedy. The idea itself was developed by myself and a friend, Christian. (that's his name, not his religious standing) I love parts of it and I loved writing it. However, I've grown less fond of it. My issues with it stems firstly from Christian's extraordanary ability to be right on the mark with something so funny and original it puts me to shame one moment and then just offensive and dumb the next, hence the script is plagued with holes that I don't like, but don't want to edit out because it's both our project, it happens to be his bits that are the only bits I've ever had an issue with (Oh God, look at this ego and run). My second problem is that there is no plot; when we started writing this project we were deliberately doing it as a scetch show with no plot, aside from the basic premise. This mainly came about because Christian didn't like telling stories, he just liked being funny. So, I'm stuck with this basic premise that isn't really my original idea, that has been wrote as a sketch show for his benifit and gagging to go back to the original story only to know that the story has already been done in reverse and doesn't really have the consistance it had a year back when I actually started it all. Christian left for University about 6 months ago, we've barely spoken since and he's moved on to other things, but he's still interested in doing it as our project sometime in the future, so I can't really play with it anyway and it's hidden away on a shelf. So, on to other things...

My other project that is currently in my development limbo is "The Zombie Hordes are Back," which is not it's actual title, but it's an appropriate working title that reminds me what it's about before I write some crazy plot that doesn't reflect what I wanted. It's basically a zombie story and it exists in about 5 different short story forms littering my room, but I want to develop it out to be a drama series, you know, with strong characters and story arcs and sub plot, the whole funky deal... finding the time to do that is hard to come by at the moment though.

Talking about writing has distracted me a bit too much from what I should probably talking about... that being life probably... I'm not sure... brain too detacted to find a way back at the moment, so maybe another time. I'll leave this ramble as it is for now. So, that's it I've started a blog, I appologise for the over use of polysynditon and odd grammar and over use of commas, this is my chat style for typing. I'm told often that it's a bitch to read, but esoteric is always a good thing, keeps you thinking. I'll be back some day soon to continue it and maybe I'll even find the time to talk clearly enough to get a podcast out too.